Discuss Amongst Yourselves

By Carol Woolum Roberts 

I love discussing things with other people.

It is one of my favorite things to do….to have a small group of people who talk about a topic and share their opinions and views.

They don’t have to all agree, but there does have to be mutual trust and respect to make a discussion really work.

And people need to listen.  What is that person saying?  Are you listening?  Or are you just waiting to see when they are done with their thought so you can jump in with that very important thing you needed to share?

I love being in discussions where people don’t agree, but are able to share their viewpoints, and other people in the group hear what the person is saying and let them speak.  They don’t interrupt, they don’t fire back a rebuttal and accuse the person of being wrong….what happens when discussions work is people listen and learn from one another.

Yes, these gatherings do happen.  I have been involved in many of these interactions, especially in the past few months talking about a variety of subjects, some of them rather “hot topics”, including creativity, God, mask mandates, vaccines, current political figures…to name a few.  And guest what?  People of differing opinions can have conversations and not shut each other down, put each other down, make sarcastic remarks, or belittle the other person. 

And this is the way it should be.  Healthy discourse helps us understand one another.  It helps us refine our own beliefs and make them stronger.

There was an old Saturday Night Live skit called “Coffee Talk with Linda Richmond” where Mike Myers portrayed Linda Richmond and people would call in to the show and ask questions or make comments about Linda Richmond’s favorite person, Barbra Streisand.  Sometimes, Richmond would throw out a topic and tell her audience…”discuss amongst yourselves”.

Next time you are with a group of people, throw out a topic and say “discuss amongst yourselves”, and see if a healthy discourse can happen.  Remind people to really listen to who is talking.  Remind them they can learn from a different opinion and perhaps get a different take on the topic. 

It reminds me of part of our Creative Communion service we do in our home each Thursday evening.  This month the topic is “Love God” and we are focusing on the idea that one way to love God is through contemplative prayer.  Paul quotes Pastor Brian Zahnd to give an idea why we should practice contemplative prayer:

Pastor Zahnd thought of contemplative prayer as “sitting with Jesus.” He found that when he was in prayer, if he would just sit with Jesus over things that were troubling or perplexing that often he would begin to gain a new perspective… He tells us that “The three of us — Jesus, “it”, and I — would sit together. What tended to happen over time was that anger, fear, and prejudice would subside enough to allow for the possibility of a new perspective…”

The ultimate goal of contemplation is not just a new way of seeing, but love. Everything about God tends toward love. God is love. The highest form of knowing is not empirical, rational thought… but love. You don’t really know a thing until you love it. You don’t really know a person until you love them. A contemplative breakthrough makes love possible.

If you truly love your neighbor, you should be able to sit down and talk through love.  But all parties in the conversation have to have the same goal….wanting to know this person through love.

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When was the last time you were in a really great conversation with someone else, and came away better for having that conversation?  We would love to hear about it in the comments below.

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