The Creativity of Caring

By Carol Woolum Roberts

This was an interesting week regarding friends and cancer.

I received three bits of news from three different friends this past week.  They all had to do with cancer.

A text went out to pray for one friend who was going in for more tests regarding some possible findings in the preliminary testing. This friend got a good report.

Prayers were prayed and thanks were given.

I received a text from another friend telling me she was unable to come to my daughter’s wedding next month, because she would still be going through treatment for cancer. This was the first time I had heard about this.

Prayers of comfort of peace were prayed for this friend as she continues through her treatment.

I got a call from another friend asking if she could come over and talk recently. She came over and I found out her previous cancer surgery was not what she hoped, and further surgery will be performed later this month.

Prayers for strength and peace for this friend as she has to go through another surgery.

Cancer seems to be a part of everyone’s story these days.  If you don’t have cancer, it seems you know someone who has or currently has it.

My dad had cancer when he died at the young age of 64.

My mom was 69 when she was diagnosed with breast cancer.

Paul’s dad also had cancer when he died a few years ago.

It got me thinking about caring for people who are going through things like cancer, and how do I respond?

I believe there is a certain creativity to caring for others.

Caring is a creative act.

Some people have that instinctive ability to respond in the right way when someone needs some care sent their way.  Often it involves delivering a meal.  Sometimes a phone call.  Sometimes it involves dropping a card in the mail.  Sometimes it is sitting next to someone just so they have someone to be by their side. Often, I feel like I know how to respond. Other times I feel very awkward in these situations.

When I fill my life with too much busyness, then I don’t have the capacity to care like I want to.  My ability to be creative in this way is often non-existent.

This became so clear last fall when I received a phone call from a friend who was desperate for some help. She was sending out an SOS. But that particular week I was working every day and rehearsing every night and could not be there to help this friend.  It was very devastating, but also very eye opening.

That was one of the catalysts that showed me I needed to do some purging this year and create more space in my life for the unexpected.  For that friend who wants to come over and tell you she is having surgery later this month. For a sister whose phone went on the blink (again) and she needs to use your phone to get things figured out. For another friend who wants to come in and do some venting, just because they need to get some things off their chest, and they know Paul and I understand. For a student who wants you to attend their birthday party without much notice. I am so thankful I have been available in these situations. 

But it isn’t just being available.  It is the ability to be present in these situations.  Part of caring is being in the moment with the person.  To listen to them. To not be thinking about the ten things you need to do next.  Instead, it is a time to focus on them and be present.  To me, that is a wonderful way to show someone you care.

I look forward to more caring moments in 2024, as my time and availability are more open, and I can be present with others in my life.

A friend is using my purge idea for her word of the year.  One of the things she put on her vision board presentation was this quote:

“In graphic design, white space clarifies the message; in music, the rests are as important as the notes.”

Through having white space in our lives, it brings not only clarity for us, but we can have clarity as we engage with others in our lives. Those times of rest we give ourselves give us the peace of mind and strength we need in those moments when we are needed by others.

If you are one of those people who make a meal for someone when they are sick, but say, “oh, I’m not creative”, I tend to disagree.

If you are one of those people who call to check on a friend, send a note of encouragement, or a bouquet of flowers, but say, “oh, I’m not creative”, I tend to disagree.

I believe our Creator gives us creative ways to help others, and care for them.  For me, I just need to provide the space and the rest in my schedule to help this creativity happen.

Just like that white space in graphic design.

Just like the rests in music.

It is all part of the creative process of living a creative life.

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What are some creative ways you show someone you care?

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